I’m really looking forward to connecting with you to understand your parenting challenges, and to help you build a connection plan that will mean you have more joy in parenting.
Get Started – book a time here.
What is Hand in Hand Parenting?
Who is Madeleine Winter?
What happens in a Parenting Consultation?
Who can attend? Do you work with couples?
Where are the Consultations held?
How should I prepare?
How do I join the Conference Call?
How do I book a time for a Consultation?
What have other parents said about working with Madeleine?
What happens after the Initial Consultation?
What to do next
The Hand in Hand approach understands that that parents are always trying their best, but that parenting is emotional work. Parenting is also a relationship. We offer Tools for making sense of and resolving parent’s and children’s emotional tensions, while strengthening and repairing the connection between adult and child.
We offer a process, not a formula. We will not give you a list of “things to do” or rigid “ways to respond” that will solve your problems, or your child’s problems. There is no “magic” in parenting. Instead, we offer you Listening Tools to
- build on the strengths in your relationship with children, and
- help you respond flexibly to the challenges, struggles and difficulties in your relationship with them (and other adults!)
We teach 6 Listening Tools focusing on play and listening, balancing necessary limit setting with tools for building connection. These build emotional safety into your relationship with your child, develop their resilience, and increase your creativity and ease in parenting. We also focus on helping you to build the support you need to parent in the way you want.
I am the parent of a teen, living in Sydney in Australia with my husband. I’ve done many things in my life, but coming to parenting fairly late, I found my vocation and passion! Lucky to be introduced to the Hand in Hand approach well before becoming a parent, for nearly 30 years I’ve used the tools extensively for myself, and both in my own family and working with families from very diverse walks of life. I work from home, leading groups of parents and offering Parenting Consultations for individuals and couples.
I live in a beautiful part of the city, and when I’m not working I’m happily busy building connections and relationships in my local community.
In 2020, I plan to focus more closely on how parents can meet the challenges of climate change.
I am a certified Hand in Hand Instructor and Consultant, and as such, I do not provide psychotherapy. My aim is to work with you on your specific parenting challenges in a parent-to-parent advisory role. I can assist you to understand how the Listening Tools that we teach might work in your family and give you feedback and advice as you try them. I can also help you to work through your own challenges and issues raised by parenting. (I’ve found that there is not a parent who does not have challenges and issues!).
In the Initial Consultation, I like to spend some time hearing about the challenge which brought you to me (there is usually something pressing), and to get an understanding of your background – both before parenting, and a little about your parenting journey.
The Consultations are generally be divided between Problem Solving and Listening Time. In Problem Solving we explore your parenting challenge, and I can introduce you to the Listening Tools I think will be most helpful, or help you understand how to use them more powerfully if you are already familiar. Sometimes, however, the main challenge at hand is how we are feeling – the emotions which are triggered in our interactions with our children, the way that parenting can remind us of other hard times in our life. In Listening Time, we will work together to find those wells-of-feeling, and to release them – grief through tears, fears through laughter. This will leave you feeling lighter and more able to keep reaching for connection in your parenting, and better able to problem solve.
This Initial Consultation is for you. The challenges of parenting are complex, and I do also often work with couples. I’m not a couples therapist, but I can help you work towards tackling your parenting challenges as a team and to develop a shared picture of the problem and a concrete plan of action which you can implement together. Parenting as a couple can be quite isolating, and having a conversation with a “third party” who deeply understands the Hand in Hand approach can often clarify things. Consultations with couples need to be a little longer than Individual Consultations, so that I can get a picture of each of your concerns.
Generally, I work using Zoom conferencing, which you can join simply by dialing in (as per a normal phone call) or by joining online via your browser or via a phone app – with or without vision. I find it generally very helpful to be able to see you, so if you can arrange to meet with vision, that’s better.
If you are local, I am also very open to meeting you at a suitable location, although I may need to charge for travel time.
When you book a consultation, you will get a set of questions which it would be good if you could think about before we meet. You are also welcome to provide written answers to them by reply email.
Avoid Multitasking: Conferencing by video has lots of benefits – no wasted travel time and it can be fitted in around other activities. It has the risk, however, of allowing multitasking. Sometimes it is inevitable that you will have to be doing something else while you are on the Consultation (occasionally, driving is one of those things). But in general, if you can find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted, and where you will be able to give our time together your full attention, you’ll get much more out of the time we spend together. Please do not plan to be doing something else!
Arrange for your children to be elsewhere: You also will get more from the Consultation if you can be well out of earshot, and not likely to be interrupted by your lovely children. Children have an uncanny way of telling that your attention has shifted away from them, and if they are able, they will often actively seek you out when this happens. I know that sometimes it’s impossible to be without your children, but in general, the work we can do together will be extremely limited if they are with you. Please arrange for them to be elsewhere.
I will send you instructions about how to join the Call. I use Zoom Conferencing, and if you want to join with vision, which I prefer, you will need to prepare ahead of time, although there are rarely problems with connecting, and the process is straightforward.
You can join the Consultation with vision via the web or a phone app, or you can dial in by phone. If you are on a web browser, you can cut and paste or click on the link I send you, and an app will be downloaded to your computer. The phone app also works well (and if you are using vision, uses less data). You can find out more about it here. It is best if you can use headphones.
You can find your local dial-in number here.
When you fill in this form with some information about yourself, and you will be redirected to my booking page, and a link to that will also be in the email I send you. I am in Eastern Australian Time, and booking slots should show up in your time-zone. Please check your spam box for emails, as they sometimes land there.
I’m generally available from 6a.m. Sydney time. You can find out what time that is for you here.
This is the difference it can make:
“I had a very difficult time with my daughter and the pressures at the end of a new pregnancy. I’ll remember my experience with her Consultations late at night in the dark as the only guidance I had during a period when I struggled to make it through. Worth every penny!” – Mother of 6, 4, 2 y.o’s and baby, in San Diego, CA, USA
“I went into my last relationship with the belief that if two people were willing to work on themselves, their relationship would become stronger. What I have learned is that people can grow and their relationship can become healthier, but a healthy relationship between two people frequently does not involve living together as romantic partners. So I bought a condo to live in with my son, and his father comes over to see him frequently. I don’t at all have the family life that I envisioned, but my boy is getting lots of love from lots of people and I’ve never been happier! We certainly wouldn’t be where we are today without you, Madeleine!” – Mother of 10 year old boy, Oakland, CA, USA
And her ex-partner says “I’ll second that. I’ve never met you Madeleine so I never had the chance to thank you for all the work you did with my wife, that helped her become such a wonderful mother! THANK YOU”
“Thank you for changing my path and my direction with my children. I don’t want to look back and wonder how things could have been different if I didn’t yell so much, etc. Looking forward to staying in touch.” Mother of 3 and 5year olds, Virginia, USA
“Madeleine has helped me and my two year old son’s life move forward in wonderful directions. I have been working with her for a year now and am so impressed by her solid foundation and integration of the Hand in Hand Fundamentals. She has a deep, rich understanding of human behavior and great insight into challenging behaviors. Right from the first consultation she was able to focus in on the specifics of my child’s situation. Every problem she has helped me with- from my son’s sleep, to his hitting, to dealing with co-parenting struggles, Madeleine has lead me to a cooperative, caring and empowering solution. In addition, to all the technical support is Madeleine’s warmth, complete acceptance, lightheartedness and loving personality. She is able to awaken me to the fact that I am the perfect parent for my child and in all actuality, despite how bad I feel, I am parenting very well.” Parent in Austen, TX, USA
“A very big special, hearty thankyou Madeleine for your call today along with some squeezey hugs for you. I feel so rejuvenated, excited, hopeful, relieved and supported to have met HandinHand and yourself.” Mother of 13 year old, NSW, Australia
People tend to have one or two consultations to get started, and then might check in again once they have had a chance to try the Listening Tools in their family. You are welcome to set up as many, or as few, sessions as you need, and it is completely up to you. You should see shifts and changes in your family dynamic within one or two sessions.
Some parents choose to work with me over several meetings, which is always a delight, as we are able to get to know one another better, and trust is built. It’s entirely up to you. For new customers, I have a 10% discount if you book 3 Consultations following on from our Initial Consultation.
Many parents also move on to join a Parent Support Group – where you meet a few times, either in person or over the phone, with a small group of other parents who are also interested in using Hand in Hand in their families. Parents find it very helpful to hear other parent’s stories about using the Listening Tools at home, and to learn that they are not alone. I run groups regularly and you can find out more here.
Please follow this link to give me some more information about yourself. You will be redirected to my booking page, and a link to that will also be in the email I send you.
Looking forward to meeting you soon!
Get Started – book a time here.
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© 2020 by Madeleine Winter.