“Why Won’t They Just Do What I Say?”
Setting Limits and Building Co-operation in Your Family
Setting limits with your children can be a positive experience for you and them. Children actually need limits. Come and learn how to do it in a way that improves your relationship with them, rather than ending up in angry words and impossible power struggles. Using our practical approach, you can help your children back onto the path of reasonableness & co-operation and spend more time enjoying your children.
WHO: For parents of children 2-12 years old. Parents from the school will have priority. You may be placed on a waitlist.
WHEN: Five Wednesday mornings, 31/10, 7/11, 14/11, 21/11 and 28/11
9:15 a.m. – 11.30 a.m. Please plan to attend all three meetings, as each class builds on the last.
WHERE: Lakemba, NSW, 2195
CHILDCARE: Is available. If you are bringing your children, please read this
Want to Join the Course, but looking for immediate help?
- Discounted Parenting Consultations. If you register for this workshop, you can book a Parenting Consultation at a 30% discount off the regular price. Please use the discount code “HIHWORKSHOP”.
- And get started right away with the online course Setting Limits and Building Cooperation
Come and learn about:
- Testing & Requesting: learn how limit testing behaviours are actually a child’s request for help.
- Investing: today’s limit setting is for tomorrow – working towards connected adolescence.
- Connecting: your kids want to be close to you – simple tools for building the trust with your kids that you will need in order to effectively set limits and build co-operation.
- Expecting Upsets: children’s emotional explosions are often an important part of limit setting. Get practical, parent-tested tools for handling them.
- Repairing: When things have gone wrong – how to get yourself back on track, and set things right with your kids.
In this workshop you will learn about Hand in Hand Parenting Listening Tools to use for yourself and with your children. You can say goodbye to nagging, yelling, using rewards and punishments, and instead resolve emotional tensions and restore everyone’s ability to co-operate and problem solve.
WHAT TO DO? I’M BATTLING TO GET THE KIDS TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!
WHAT WILL I GET FROM THIS COURSE?
WHY GETTING TOGETHER WITH OTHER PARENTS IS A GOOD THING
DO I HAVE TO WAIT? I’D LIKE TO GET STARTED IMMEDIATELY
WHAT HAPPENS IN A HAND IN HAND PARENTING COURSE?
WHO CAN ATTEND? DO I NEED TO BE FAMILIAR WITH HAND IN HAND PARENTING?
HOW CAN I LEARN MORE?
WHAT WILL I GET FROM THE ONLINE COURSEWORK
WHY ARE OUR CHILDREN NOT ABLE TO JOIN US IN THE WORKSHOP? WHAT IS THE CHILDCARE ARRANGEMENT?
WHAT HAVE OTHER PARENTS SAID ABOUT THESE GROUPS?
Have you been struggling with limit setting? Do you feel you are locked in a constant battle with your children about how & when things will get done? Are your children constantly testing the limits? Are you running thin on patience?
Come and learn about how:
- Your children (sometimes desperately) need you to set limits.
- Upsets are important (and how to handle them).
- Testing behaviours are actually a child’s request for help.
- Today’s limit setting is for tomorrow – working towards connected adolescence.
- Getting back on track when things go wrong – repairing connection.
- How not to get worn out – building the support you need to keep going.
WANT TO KNOW MORE? You may find this video interesing. Founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, Patty Wipfler, outlines two steps in setting limits.
Join with a small group of dedicated parents to get and give support as you resolve power struggles. In this course you will learn about concrete, parent-tested Listening Tools to use for yourself and with your children.
- Listening Partnerships with other adults will help you build support and make plans for your parenting.
- Special Time helps you build the connection you need with your children so that you can tackle difficulties.
- Staylistening will help you handle the explosion of emotion which often happens after you have brought a limit.
- Playful Limit Setting that defuses tensions and builds connection.
Over time these Listening Tools give us greater flexibility in responding to children in ways that resolve emotional tensions & restore their co-operation & good judgement.
I’m an experienced Hand in Hand Instructor, and I look forward to answering your questions and helping you apply the Hand in Hand Listening Tools in your family.
The short answer to this question is “Parenting was never meant to be a job we do on our own!”
Something very special happens every time I get a group of parents together like this (whether it is in-person, or in a phone based group).
We get to see that we are not alone, that it is not “our fault”, and we learn so much from each other’s experiences. Together we build support, share our challenges and successes, help reduce stress levels, and learn about using the Hand in Hand Parenting Listening Tools to solve power struggles and build co-operation and harmony in our families.
I know that the logistics of getting yourself somewhere for three meetings over three weeks may be almost more than you can stand the idea of. THANK YOU FOR EVEN CONSIDERING IT! I promise, it will be worth it.
Parenting is challenging at the best of times. There is always lots of advice, but in short supply is a safe, non-judgmental place to:
- make sense of that advice and plan for our parenting;
- unload when things get tough;
- hear that we are not alone;
- be appreciated for how hard we try;
- share successes and happy moments; and
- reflect on our own stories and how these influence our parenting.
Being part of an in-person course can help you develop a support network which you can use to help solve your parenting challenges. In my courses, we establish strict confidentiality, and you will have time to be listened to without interruption or advice giving, about your particular parenting challenges (or victories!). Getting a chance to be listened to in this way can often turn your day around, and over time, improves your capacity to connect with your children, and your flexibility in responding to their difficulties. You may also build ongoing Listening Partnerships with other parents in the group.
I would love to help! Book a Free 20 Minute Consultation to discuss.
I highly recommend the Self-Paced Online Course Setting Limits and Building Co-operation as an excellent way to get started.
If you combine this with a Hand in Hand Parenting Consultation ,we can clarify the issues in your family, and give you some concrete strategies to try at home to resolve power struggles. I can help you develop a Personalised Parenting Connection Plan for your family to solve problems and help you build connection and closeness.
Each meeting will cover some theory, introduce some of the Listening Tools, give you a chance to try a Listening Partnership with someone else in the group, hear about what you are learning your experiments using Listening Tools at home, and offer you some Listening Time where you can plan, download, debrief – without interruption, advice giving, or having to listen to other people’s opinions!
- brief introductions – what is going well in your family?
- short Listening Partnerships with others in the group.
- introduce and review the Hand in Hand Parenting Listening Tools as necessary.
- share experiences of using the Listening Tools at home;
- have questions answered;
- When we have time, each parent is listened to in turn in the group, in a confidential environment, without comment, judgement or advice.
These groups are open to parents of children aged 6mo-12. If you are new to Hand in Hand Parenting I recommend that you start on the optional, additional, Self-Paced Online Course Setting Limits and Building Co-operation. You will get so much more from the in-person group if you have started working through that course. You could also read the “Listening To Children” 9 Booklet Set – an e-version comes with the course, or you can order hard copies from me
Hand in Hand offer a range of ways you can learn more. I run courses and workshops, both in person and phone based.
I highly recommend that you read the booklets Listening To Children“.
Sign up for the Self-Paced Online Course Setting Limits and Building Cooperation (includes a digital version of the booklets). There are also Self Paced courses on Aggression, Sleep, Separation and Sibling Rivalry.
If you are not sure, please contact Madeleine for a Free 20 Minute Consultation to discuss.
Setting Limits and Building Co-operation is an online, self-paced course offered through Hand in Hand Parenting (Palo Alto, USA). It is fantastic value for money and one of the best ways to get immediately useful help for your parenting – at a bargain price of $US39 ($AU55 approx. give or take small fluctuations in the exchange rate and any exchange fees).
THE COURSE COVERS:
- Common causes and triggers for off-track behaviour
- How children signal for help
- Three steps to setting effective limits
- Why conventional discipline methods don’t work for long
- Why a sense of connection is so vital to your child
- The importance of emotional support for yourself
You will also learn about:
- Creating a balance between “Yes” and “No”
- Building cooperation with the Generous Yes
- Building connection with a Warm, Attentive No
- How to set limits playfully
- How to handle your own emotional moments
- Understanding your child’s repeated need for limits
The course offers practical, parent-tested tools for how to respond to upsets and resolve difficulties. You get:
- A thorough introduction to the Hand in Hand Parenting approach to setting limits while strengthening your relationship with your child.
- Instant, unlimited access 24/7 for one year, to transformative reading materials, to access at your convenience.
- 15 instructional videos presented by the Founder of Hand in Hand Parenting (US), Patty Wipfler. Each video is about 15-20 min each for easy viewing and retention.
- 9 “Listening to Children” e-booklets (worth $AU33 – $US24 value alone)
WHY WAIT? GET STARTED ONLINE RIGHT AWAY
I understand that childcare can be a real challenge! However, we generally do not have children with us in the room at any of my talks or workshops (except when the event is especially organised to be for the children). Children will be cared for by professional child-care workers, usually in a space separate from the adults, and they may not be able to see us.
We arrange things this way because we parents need a place where we can focus fully on getting support for ourselves, and if children are there, our focus often goes to them (as it should!). Plus, we need a space where we can talk about the highs and the lows of parenting, and in general, our children do not need to hear about that.
So please, explain the childcare arrangements to your children. Arrive early so that they can meet the carers before you leave for the class. You can leave to attend to your children if you need, and return when you can, but I encourage you not to bring your children into these workshops. If this is the first time you have left your children in an unfamiliar place with strangers, please contact me to discuss. In my experience, this will not be easy on your children, the childcare workers, or you. I would encourage you to see if there is someone familiar you can leave your children with, or if you can bring someone who can stay with your children on-site while you are at the workshop. Treat yourself to a short time where you don’t need to pay attention to them, and can get the support you need to go back to them and be the best parent you can be!
“The adult-adult listening time has been great because I normally don’t have anyone to offload to.”
“I’ve found the listening time helpful as it is interesting to listen to where others are at and it’s a great opportunity to get things off your chest.”
“I’ve been surprised at how useful it has been just to have a chance to talk through what is going on. Things seem to become clearer. I know that no-one is going to judge me, or give me advice I don’t need.”
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The image above is “God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers” by Sundaram Ramaswamy
© 2018 by Madeleine Winter.