Here’s a story from a parent about helping her son overcome a feeling of not being able to draw.
Do you think there is something hardwired in humans that makes rainbows so irresistible? My son has drawn hundreds of them over the years
And I get excited whenever I see a tin of pencils lined up in their rainbow colours. But somewhere along the way I lost my confidence in actually doing anything wonderful with the pencils. I feel overwhelmed by how beautiful they are when they are new, and how white the paper is, and it seems like I could never put a mark on the paper that would be good enough. I don’t know exactly how I came by this doubt. But I know I don’t want my son to have it.
I remember when he was about 3, we had a baby-sitter over so they could get to know one another, with me still around. My son loved to draw, and had recently taken great care to draw a marvellous “rainbow lady” at pre-school, as a special picture for a portfolio. I encouraged them to get out the paper, pencils and paint, and the sitter immediately went to town, putting pen to paper and starting to draw something wonderful.
My son took one look and announced that he did not want to do any more drawing, slumped in his chair and looked very discouraged. I went and sat down with them, and decided to lead the way. “Hey Amelia, I’m gonna do a fantastic drawing, watch this!” I said to the sitter, and I took up the pencil and pushed it hard into the paper so that the tip broke. “Oh dear”, I said, “there is something wrong with this pencil”, and I tried another and then another. They all broke. My son watched, with a tiny spark of interest in his eye. “Oh well” I said, “I’m gonna draw anyway. I’m gonna draw the bestest drawing of a rainbow”, and I proceeded to struggle to get the pencils to make anything other than a scratchy lines on the paper.
By this time, the sitter had got the idea, and she started concentrating very hard and drawing weird shapes over the top of the drawing she had done. My son started giggling, and took up a pencil. “Muum, this is how you do it, watch me” and he drew a confident blue line across the top of the page. “ Oh my, really?” I said. “What else can you do?” And the three of us went on, with Amelia and I following my son’s lead. My son got more and more confident, drawing the most lovely rainbows.
I was glad to have been able to show the way. It must be so discouraging to always be the one who is less competent, knowledgable and skilled. It’s amazing what young people can do when they are relieved of the weight of those hard feelings, through a bit of laughter, and some adults prepared to be silly. It’s like they get stuck in a puddle of hopelessness , and just a little bit of silliness on our part can ease the way for a child to step into a sense of confidence.
When was the last time you were silly with your child, and what happened?
No need to go it alone!
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