Tag Archives: Screens

Child with brown hair sits facing away from the camera looking at bright colours on a large TV screen which is out of focus.

Switching off the Screen – How to Set Limits Around Screen Time

Is screen time and television at the end of the day a challenge for you and your family?

In this family, my friend and her son arrive home. They’ve been out all day, and everyone is a little spent and disconnected after separate days out in the world.

several school bags dumped in a cornerBen (who is 8): dumps his bag down by the door and jumps on his screen, logging into his favourite streaming platform to watch cartoons.

Mum (my friend), asks: “How was school today?”

Ben (now engrossed in cartoons), replies: “fine.”

Mum (a flash of irritation), thinks: “I wish he wouldn’t get stuck on the computer so fast.  Anyway, I’ve got better things to do than try to extract anything from him now.”

In the perfect world, it would be great to do some Special Time at this point. It’s a great way to reconnect, and (with younger kids at least) much more effective than asking questions (-;  But most of us find it hard at that time of day to be organised enough to manage Special Time.

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It’s hard, and it’s not our fault

Covid-19 virus with crowns of hearts.

We need to keep a steadfast perspective: this is not our fault. What is being asked of us is necessary, but unreasonable. It is hard because of that, not because we have somehow not figured out the trick to doing it well. We are good. Our children are good. We want to come out of this holding each other close, if not physically, then emotionally. That is the most important thing. We all need to be held close.

A lot is being asked of us as parents at the moment. Managing school-at-home and work-at-home, working parents are running the risk of being “ground up in the gears” as the world of work and the world of schooling collide in the privacy of our home.

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Tween using mobile phone/cell phone to text. Photo by Carlssa Rogers, https://flic.kr/p/9qQCYc

When she must have a phone…

Sometimes, holding a limit on something – so long as we are pretty sure the limit is reasonable –  can open up a whole lot of feelings about other things. This is as true of our pre-adolescent and adolescent children as is is of our younger children. In fact, as young people internalise the message that they shouldn’t show their feelings, a well-held limit can provide just the opening. Here’s how it worked for one mother and her daughter: Continue reading